Is my behaviour abusive?

Am I abusive?

If you’re not sure if your behaviour is abusive, consider the following.

Do you:

• Read all your partner's emails, text messages and letters
• Discredit your partner's memory, perception and sanity through lies and denial (gaslighting)
• Control where your partner goes, who they see and what they wear
• Control how much money your partner is 'allowed' to have and how much they can spend
• Stop your partner from seeing family and friends    
• Accuse your partner of being unfaithful
• Call your partner names or make comments that belittle them
• Stop your partner from going to college or work
• Touch your partner against their will

Change for the better

It takes strength and courage to take responsibility for your actions. If you're brave enough to do so, help is available. You can work towards changing for the better and stop hurting others.

Whether you've lashed out verbally or physically once, or many times, the earlier you seek help for your actions, the better life will be for your and everyone around you.

How to get help

Cranstoun domestic abuse service run local programmes to help men, women and those from the LGBT+ community. The programmes provide a safe space for people who have engaged in abusive, harmful and damaging behaviour within their relationships.

The programmes explore what it means to display appropriate behaviour within relationships and highlights how conflict, aggression, anger and controlling behaviours can deeply impact the lives of others.

Programmes are 24 weeks in duration and focus on behaviour, how people act, how this reinforces how people think and feel and, most importantly, how to act differently and make changes to behaviours and the environments created. They are also designed to support any other treatments the person may be involved with.

Call the Wokingham Domestic Abuse Service on: 0118 402 1921 to get help for more information and to speak to the programme facilitator about how they can help.

You can also call the national Respect Phoneline on 0808 802 4040 to speak to a Helpline Advisor who will listen without judgement and provide honest advice. 

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